Faking Bad.

PC: www.teeporium.com

I read somewhere recently that, "Friendship is a lot like falling in love" - and I truly agree. In a crowd of zombies, when you spot that one person, who writes zeroes just like you do, has the same songs on the playlist as yours and believes in one too many little superstitions, knowing they are untrue - you know you want to be friends. ( Whatever happened to all of those hunches - hmph)

For the longest time in life I've been meaning to meet people, fresh and genuine people, with vivacious thoughts and dreams, just like mine. And I owe it to some bad luck, in the past 5 years, every body and every thing I have run across is as fake as the end of the world.

One of the few things I miss about childhood is the fact that it was so much easier to make friends. And then as I grew up, the only thing that has been giving me trouble is making friends. And in 99 out of my 100 experiences, right after the 'Friendship at first sight' happens, I find them fake and wave a goodbye.

With so much time and so many fake-ster encounters, I think I could safely summarize some of these encounters for your entertainment.

1. Hypocritical Fake.

Playing by the rules, someone who has hurt my friend, is always going to be somewhat of a question mark in my eyes. So I had a very close friend who could repeat lines from my Life's Story and that does not mean we were close. I am just somebody who rants and gives up too much information in the first encounter (I just get excited when I talk to people). This friend of mine could recite my Karma-will-get-back-at-you list like no one else. One afternoon, the friend decides to oblige to a party invitation from a name on that list, and comes back to tell me how fake the party was later.FAKE.

2. Hard Working Fake.

 Remember you had a best friend in school who'd ring up at two in the morning whimpering about the next days exam? Whatever happened to those sentiments. These days, if there is a call coming in at 2 AM before an exam, it's just to tell you that the concerned person has finished studying and is going to sleep. Oh and these fake-sters, they always end up scoring less than me - so SCORE. :P I mean which world are they in? Think of it, half the time when the faculty doesn't know what the subject is about who's this Einstein midst all of that who thinks they've discovered the end of the world and now it's finally time to rest? FAKE.

3. Networking Fake. 

Oh this is my favorite kind. Last year I happened to meet a bunch of MBA boys( or whatever you call boys who haven't yet achieved manhood). These guys had a strategy to fake networking - 

a) Call the person by a silly nick name,

b) Make sure the rest of the group calls them by the same creepy nick name.

c) Boast about the tales of their grandfathers, mothers palace in England and Rome and how they own a few pyramids in Egypt. 

d) Think that the person is floored by the tales. 

e) Add them on Facebook and call them next when you need a favor. (*party-horns*)

4. Insecure Fake.

Haha. Okay I am picturing somebody right now as I'm typing this out. So this person wants to do everything there is on this god damned planet. They want to be a rock star and a prince at the same time.I mean, we are not living a fairy tale, you don't get to sneak out at night in a pumpkin cart to sing at a concert and get back in before anybody realizes it was you. So these people will fake to be friends with everyone they know and jump on the bandwagon of new fads as it approaches. 

5. Social Fake.

This person is always complaining about why you never hang out with them. They are forever kissing cheeks and hugging more than conversing. They've clearly figured how to win over people's confidence. They are always making new and newer groups and socializing like there is no tomorrow. But deep down inside, they know their priorities and its likely that these people will leave you as soon as your social commonalities end. 

6. Loud Fake.

These people will scream out how much they love you in a crowd of 2 million and make sure they are heard. So tomorrow when someone comes to you and asks you to write them a birthday card, don't be surprised. They've already assumed you two are close. 

7. Facebook Fake.

Haven't you met people who are something online and entirely something else in person? Well I've been honored to have met quite a few of those retards. They are extremely good at pinning false achievements to the wall of fame but once you meet them in person, you wonder if it is the same person. Their FAKEBOOK profile says they led a troop for a vicious war, and in reality the person is someone who can't hurt a leaf, if they wanted to. 

8. Be-Cool Fake.

Oh! this is the most common kind. From trying to get selfies with celebrity look-alike's to learning to speak in a British accent, these people are fighting to look cool.If you walk up to them tomorrow saying being a Tomato is so cool, they might actually wear a Tomato suit to workplace the next day.

So that's for how many Fake-sters I can think of right now.

How are you holding up in this fake-town? 

PS: This post is dedicated to a friend of mine who always gets me thinking, Mathew!
PPS: He is far too innocent to be a fake-ster and is an amazing writer himself *respect*